This Thing Called God

I realize for some that may sound blasphemous. If I were referring to the theological God of my upbringing it would indeed be just that. I would likely be struck down before completing another sentence. 

Which is part of the reason this thing called God ceased to work for me. 

I grew up hearing that “God” is love, and that God is a Big Guy in the sky that seemed to have anger issues and a major personality disorder. “He” was always smiting something or someone. “He” sent plagues, drowned Egyptians, and ordered a blood sacrifice in the person of “his” only begotten. 

From an early age this felt bizarre, savage, confusing, and just plain wrong. 

I was taught that we were made in the image and likeness of “God.” That only made sense in that many people are bizarre, savage, confusing, and behave in ways that are just plain wrong. And that perceptual shift was the beginning of freedom for me. 

The problem isn’t so much that “God” made us in “his” image. The problem is that we made “God” in OUR image. Humans throughout the centuries invented theologies composed of misperception, projections, and shadow beliefs. The Big Guy in the sky was comprised of all the parts we little people here on earth could not account for or tolerate. We could not reconcile human incongruities, so we cast them toward the heavens and made up a lower place called hell to counterbalance it. 

It was when this thing called “God” stopped working for me that I felt called to start working for something bigger than “God.” 

From “God” to Allness has been the greatest adventure and deepest fulfillment of my lifetime. It was a quantum leap in consciousness. It feels as if it took a lifetime and yet happened in a nanosecond. 

Allness is what I choose to now call Source. Source Essence All is the Infinite SEA in which everything lives and has its Being. It is only up and out because it is Absolute and everywhere present. “All” is in that sense both up and out and down and in. I am comprised of non-dual Absolute All which is Law, and which is Love. It is Infinite Intelligence. It has no personality and so no disorder. People who are out of touch with All will project out a God that is more human malfunction than what the Allness actually is. 

God is objective and All is subjective. 

God is an object, albeit a Super-object. It is a huge He that generations have sought to appease, please, get to, ward off, satisfy, sanctify. It is outside of humanity, mostly looking down upon. 

Subjective Allness is the permeating Essence of literally All that is. It is All intelligence begetting Itself as creation ever creating. It is within us and all around us. It is relational flow. In this realm It is All that is, yet somehow also more. It is Allness somehow always seeking to be more via Its creations. 

The best thing that ever happened to me spiritually is when “God” stopped working for me. The concept of God was too ill fitting. It was unattainable as an object. It was a big man figure that I could never get or feel close to. 

As a felt-sense experience of Allness began to move within and through me I realized I was already within what I had been seeking. My breath was the breath of All. The animating presence in my body was All. There was no big man to appease or please. All is Life. All of Life. My life. My living. My love. All love. 

So, I pray you can feel below and above my words. Feel the Allness that already contains you, me, everyone and everything. Breathe it. Feel it. Let it be free within you. 

When the concept of God stopped working for me a far greater reality opened for and in me. It is what I term All. It is filling my heart as I type these words. It is a felt-relating that moves as a mobius from my heart to you the reader. It is bigger than God. It is All that is.